Allegory of the Enemy

Thought i’d switch gears again and give up something a little different. Enjoy

The shadow figures stare at me from across a darkened space

They’re heads covered, everything is concealed, even their face.

Fear takes me; I turn and start to walk quickly in the direction opposite them

I hear their footfalls start and quicken and it doesn’t help that the moonlight is dim

The darkened path I’m walking leads off into an even more hidden area before me

Nevertheless, my pursuers begin to give chase, I have to run! I have to escape even if I can’t see.

I run fast, pounding my legs hard as I can, moving through an uncertain path

They’re behind me, they’re taunting me…I hear them begin to laugh

The mock my fear and each has something to say, something spoken personal about myself

The first voice I hear says, “You have life, but are not living, when are you gonna accomplish anything yourself?”

The disbelief hits me and the thoughts permeate, making giving me a pang of shame

Awashed in a grim realization that there is a legacy to create, to do less would leave me the only person to blame

Another voice speaks, raspy as the first, but with more sinister intent

“You are too kind to them, ur poems merely theater, these ladies care nothing of your lament.”

Is that true? Calls not returned, days in silence, where once there were hours of convo

Poems meant as explanation of internal desires, eventually fade from relevance and a return to limbo

As this strikes my mind, I stumble, and almost fall, they grab my shirt and I break loose.

One more voice speaks to me, soothingly, “Your life is not your own, you’re afraid to choose.”

I trip again and fall; the last thought is the fear of left when right brings an equal question

Of why I did not right when it may have been easier to go in the opposite direction

I lay back, they draw near, I fight to stand…to run…to get away again

I’m knocked down, I fight more, but to no avail and the shadowy figures win

Another voice speaks over the confusion, the voice is deeper and slow

“You cheapen yourself by not standing stronger. You are the one who needs to grow.”

I freeze in terror as they hover above me, the realization is too much as the moon is finally shown

The faces of my chasers are familiar…they are all my own!

This whole time I have been trying to escape, trying to fight a villain that turned out to look like me

The stark reality hits me hard…that I am my own enemy.

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Demon Union Meeting

            “Ok…ok…let’s get this underway so that we can get back to what we do best.” Gemory said into the microphone, which was held by a skeleton hand attached to a podium made of human bones. “Ok, now I know some of you have been having a few issues with the new meeting schedule, but as you know, our Union is poised to lead all other Hell’s Unions in the categories of Possessions and General Calamity. We may even get at least 2nd in Pestilence or Disease. Now, I know that you guys have been working hard, but just finish out this quarter and we’ll all be rewarded.”

“Ice cream?” Seere said.

“Yes, ice cream. Moving on there will be a tutorial for those of you who need it, I’m talking to you Dennis, to improve your possessions, their duration, random weird shit and how to make a kid spin their head around without actually snapping the neck. Dennis…after killing 15 girls like this, I would have thought that you understood this by now.”

“Why can’t you call me by my evil, Christian theology, demon name?” Dennis said. He stood, dressed in a Roman toga, with olive…and a fool’s hat.

“You earn an evil demon name, Dennis, it’s not just given to you. Frank’s not worried, are you Frank.” The one called Frank nodded quietly, and resumed playing his video game. “So, take the tutorial and let’s see some improvement. Hmm?”

“Ok.”

“Ahem…in the possession category is where our best strength is. This Union has led Hell in possessions for that last few hundred years…Dennis…if you fart again…so help me…!” Gemory fixed a stern red eye on Dennis, who stopped smiling mischievously and straightened up. “Ok…stick to the key points. Remain invisible for as long as you can, stick to young women, mostly white, but women of ethnic descent work, too.” Gemory walked over to a flaming blackboard with an illustration of a house. Using a pointer he went about emphasizing key issues in home possession.

“Make sure to open and close random doors for no reason. Here,” he pointed to the attic, “is where ominous noises are best. They hear the noises throughout the house and are often too afraid to come up the stairs. Here,” pointing to a light in the hallway, “make the lights flicker or go out…this totally freaks them out.”

Amaymon raised a clawed hand…a sigh went through the assembled demons in the room. “When I was haunting that family, I would do weird shit like intentionally walking through flour placed on the floor, blowing on someone’s shoulder….oooh…ooh…pulling a chick by her leg and running down the stairs!”

Gemory, 7 feet tall of pure sinew and muscle and wearing the guise of a lawyer, waited for Amaymon to quit patting himself on the back. “Who here knows that movies were made about Amaymon’s possession?”

All hands went up.

“See, Amaymon..WE KNOW THAT SHIT! Now stop mentioning it at every meeting.”

Amaymon looked around the room. “Fuck y’all.”

“Aren’t they going to a attach the camera to a ceiling fan in the next film?” Count on Dennis for that.

“Hahahaah! Yes, man! It was going to be a motorized rocking chair, but…”

“Look, can we get on with this? I have humans to pull pranks on.” Uval said through a yawn.

“Nobody rushes me, Uval!” Gemory said angrily. “And they’re not pranks!”

“What else would you call possessing the body of teen girls just to piss off priests on the edge of their faith?”

“Do you want out of the Union, Uval? I can bounce your ass right out of here and all your dues will be forfeit.”

“Whatever man, just get this over.”

Gemory grumbled, but trudged on. “There is a Union luncheon next week, roasted human will be served and plenty of blood for everyone. I want reports on your body invasions…detailed reports. What you did, what languages you made them speak, and photos. Take a lot of photos…especially if they were formerly pretty white women. After possession pictures of the women twisted up and in absolute agony go on the picture board. There is a prize for the demon with the most tortured looking human.”

Dennis raised his hand, “What’s the prize?”

Gemory flipped a few pieces of skin on his clipboard. “Umm, free week off with unlimited passage to Disney World.”

“Ahh…I’ve already been.”

“You might not win anyway.”

“But if I do win I’d go to a place I’ve already been.”

“Then forfeit the prize so that somebody else can go.”

“Then I won’t have a prize.”

“Dennis, take the fucking prize or not I don’t care.”

“I want a demon name as my prize.”

“You earn the name, Dennis. I just told you that.” Gemory was fast losing his patience.

“That ain’t fair man.”

“Sigh…anyone else have any business to discuss?” Gemory asked hopefully.

Amaymon looked around the group, most were not paying attention anymore, Seere’s head was rolling with his forked tongue hanging out as he snored. And whether or not Furcus was listening was not known. “Hey…I gotta ask a question…where’s Legion?”

Gemory’s brow furrowed, “Yeah…Legion…well…as you all know…he had…problems. Problems in that he had many…many…many other personalities. Well…he formed them into factions…got into a gang fight…with…um…these personalities…and beat himself unconscious. Soo…yeah…he’s out of it for a minute.”

“Shit.”

“Alright…is there anything else?” Gemory scanned the group. “Ok, well that adjourns this meeting. Remember the tutorials, luncheon, and the details of this meeting. The minutes will be posted here and in the breakroom. Ok…let’s wreak some havoc.”

God’s Plan

            God strode into the room angry. He had been sitting watching the humans, his children, for too long and had endured enough. His irritation was radiating off his body in waves and the expression on his face was frightening. All the angels scrambled to get out of his way, for it was not wise to be in the viscenity when god was in foul mood. He hurled a lightning bolt and caused a few earthquakes as he paced back and forth. Of course, no one attempted to console him…other than Lucifer. That’s right.

Lu stepped lightly into the white lighted white room of white while god in a white robe with his white beard bristling continued fuming. After a moment, he finally acknowledge Lucifer. “About time, Lu.”

“Well, you kicked me out and I believe your people are saying some really unfair and wrong things about me.” Lu stated.

“That was unfortunate, but it couldn’t be helped. Besides, that’s not why I called you.” God’s eyes were red. Lu sighed…it was his turn to be the understanding one. “What happened?”

“The whole plan was screwed from the beginning, Lu. Ever since those humans left…”

“…were kicked out also…”

“LEFT…the Garden, it’s been all downhill. Cain killed able, I had to firebomb two cities worth of people and THEN…and THEN…I had to kill the wife of the guy whose family was the only one I saved. I sent an Angel SWAT Team in and everything.” God fixed Lucifer with an intense, haunted stare. “Do you know that they tried to rape my angels?”

Of course, Lu knew, but pointing that out would probably piss god off. So, instead he said, “Wow, what did you do about that?”

“Oh nothing, luckily Lot offered up his young daughters to the mob of rapists, instead.” The fact that was said with a straight face was not lost on Lu. “Anyway, I had to kill his wife.”

“For what?”

“Looking back after I said not to.”

“Looking back at what? You raining meteors down own her village?”

“Yes. I’m NOT to be disobeyed.” That was just as much a statement as it was a threat. Lu internalized his opinion.

“Well, freeing your chosen people helped, right? That had to feel good.” Lu offered.

God sighed. “You know, I had that guy go tell the Pharoah to let those people go and while the tricks I had him do were a bit satisfying, it pains me to tell you that I had him kill like 3,000 of them. Well, of the ones that were left after they left Egypt.” There was a solemn look on his face. “The made a golden god while I was giving Moses my instructions…on stone tablets.”

“Ok…first…why not use paper? It’s much lighter and two…you know that they created the god on the spot. Which, to me, should have told them that it was a powerless idol, but couldn’t you have shown them the error of their ways without killing a large chunk of the people you were saving?”

“It was really, Moses’ call, but I didn’t disagree with it. Well, after 40 years of wandering and then a war to wipe out the people already living in the land that I promised them, all that was settled.”

“I’m glad.”

“Until, I had to cause a Flood to wipe off the earth of everyone and everything, minus the family of the guy I got to build the ark by himself.”

“ I remember that.” Lu certainly did. He had tried to avoid remembering it, actually.

“Yeah, not one of my better ideas. Of course, the rainbow was my apology and promise to not do it again.”

“I’m sure that made up for world massacre.”

God paused and raised an eyebrow. Lu turned his head. After a moment, god shifted in his white throne and let the comment pass. “I’m surprised at how fast the humans repopulated the earth after having to start again with 6. But, it didn’t work.” God pouted. “They went right back to not worshiping me, killing, and general human mischief. And so, now I have another idea.”

“Oh, shit.” Lu swore under his breath.

“There’s a woman that I’ve picked out. A married virgin…I’m going to impregnate her, right…”

“Wait, wait, wait…why are you doing that?!”

“It’s part of the plan, Lu. Listen.” God continued without missing a beat. “Now, she’s gonna give birth to my child, who she will raise. At the right age, he’ll perform miracles in my name, raise the dead, you know…cast out a few demons, and…more importantly…spread the good word about me, Heaven, and me…and him, too.” Lu blinked. “Later, one guy will betray him to some old Jews, he’ll be beaten, tortured, and crucified…but…here’s the kicker…he’ll come back three days later…just fine. This will lead people back upon the right path.”

Lu sat in silence for a moment to absorb what he had just heard. God was intelligent. He had to be to design such an impressive thing as life and the Earth, but…there were times when he went a little on the deep end of things. Lu remembered their argument about Adam and Eve and how that went down, so he was well aware of God’s…less than lucid moments. This had to be one of those moments. Lu, took it upon himself to try to help God where he could. “Alright, I thought you told that guy that adultery was a sin?”

“It is.”

“But, you are going to impregnate a girl you know is with someone else? What’s to stop him from thinking she cheated on him and kill her?”

“I’ll…work that out, somehow.”

“Wait, did she consent to all this?”

God blinked twice. “Well, I haven’t had time to tell her, yet.”

“Tell her? You’re not going to even ask?”

God chuckled, “Lu…I’m God, remember? I don’t ask for shit!”

“What about this kid and this torture thing? Why is that necessary?”

“I figure that humans are so used to suffering by now, thanks to you…”

“None of this is MY fault and you know it!”

“That their Savior being brutally murdered would tug at their heart strings a bit.” God plunged ahead undeterred by Lu’s anger. He’ll know the plan, too and he will be resurrected a few days later…so…it’s ok. Heck, I might do it myself.”

“Impregnate a women with yourself then have yourself killed on behalf of yourself then resurrect yourself a few days later?”

God laughed.

Lu stared incredulously at God, who stared back with no apparent realization of how stupid an idea this was. “So, why do it? Why kill a man that you’re not going to leave dead? Why do you even need to have him born? Why couldn’t he just…I don’t know…appear?”

“Wouldn’t be part of the plan.”

“So…so…umm…why…did you call me?”

“Well, Lu…every hero needs a villain, you know. That’s where you come in at.” God smiled. “I need you to be a bit more evil.”

“You need a fall guy, you mean.”

“Think of it this way, Lu. How can they know good from evil if the evil doesn’t act very evil. You need to be more evil. That was my purpose in creating you, you know?”

That struck Lucifer by surprise. “I did not know that in fact and frankly I’m a bit offended. Besides, it seems that you have the ‘evil’ thing covered with as many people as you’ve killed…so far.”

“Collateral damage and people who deserved it for not obeying me, Lu.” God’s eyes were turning redder. “Are you gonna help me out or not?”

“I don’t like this. And you tarnishing my name is fucked up! This whole plan is fucked up! You’re making a guy solely to boost your own ego.”

“You got it wrong, you idiot! And that guy will lead them to ME, since you know so damn much!”

“Then why kill him? Why not leave him to rule in your name?”
“Because that’s not the fuckin’ plan, Lu!”

“You’re insane!”

“I’M GOD, BITCH!”

“Look,” Lu stopped, “this is getting us nowhere. You need to stop killing your own creations. Maybe they’d love you more then.”

God walked up to Lu. A calmness was on his face, but the redness in his eyes was still there. “Fuck that.”

“Ok, I’m done here.”

“They’ll learn the hard why, damn it! I’m going to write a book to tell them exactly what they need to know so that when they piss me off…there is no misunderstanding.”

“And you need ME to be the evil one?”

“You know what, I’ve had enough of you! I’m god! You should be kissing my ass, Lu.”

“I’m done. Ok…I’m gone.” Lu turned to walk out.

“Be evil or I’ll kick your ass Lu! It’s going to take over a 1,000 years to write that book, so get on it!” God shouted at Lu’s back. “You better, Lu! I’m serious!” Lucifer left without another word, with god fuming the whole time.

Adam’s Problem

Adam’s Problem 

I don’t know how it happened. One minute Eve and myself were very happy. Like, happy in a, “we never thought about anything at all” kinda way. It wasn’t like we had anything to think about, ya know? Nothing had happened before us and we were the only inhabitants on the planet, we soon found out, so it wasn’t like our minds were filled with stuff to contemplate. After God created my wife, Eve, we just wondered about. I was busy naming all the animals, which only now I see as being a very stupid idea. He could SEE every animal on Earth, I had to wait until the damn thing happened across my path. And with millions of animals, insects, and marine (I made that up myself) life, it would have taken me freaking forever…which I would have had if she hadn’t listened to that damn flying serpent.

I hadn’t even named it. All I know is it was a serpent that talked…and flew…because God was pissed about it and made it wonder on it’s stomach after that. It tells Eve about the one tree god put in the garden that he didn’t want us to touch. Now, I wouldn’t have touched it if it were not for Eve. Being the only female human on the planet, it was a bit hard to have any other choice and at the time, we were both just goofy and happy as sunshine. Which is an interesting thing, right? You know, before I ate that fruit, I had no idea what sex was. Like I said, we were kind of blank minded, but afterwards…we…whew!

Anyway, the serpent sort of told her about how god omitted a few details about that tree. I didn’t even think about why the tree was there in the first place, yet here it was, with beautiful fruit hanging from it with Eve holding one of the fruits in her hand suggesting I take a bite. She smiled, I smiled…and POW! Holy shit! I’m naked, she has tits and shit, my penis had grown large and hard, and I suddenly knew what to do with it. And we did! Many times, man!

It was during one of those times that god walked into the garden on a casual stroll and you haven’t seen odd until you’ve seen a god take on a form that allowed him to walk through a garden that he created and of which he could’ve seen every moment we made from…heaven. I remember the goofy feeling I had before eating the fruit and the awakening I felt after I ate from it. Now, here this guy comes and he is pissed. He questioned us, but already knew the answers we would give and the next thing I knew, “Think you smart now, get your shit and get out! The both of you!”

And like that we were out and on our own, no warning, no stern talking to. He kicked us out without ceremony. You would have thought that there would be more people around, but since he only had the idea of making two of us, there wasn’t. I turns to Eve, “This is all your fault. You know that right?”

“Me?! He told YOU about the tree. Nobody made you eat the fruit!” Her eyes were red from crying, but that fruit had apparently instilled in her the meaning of being pissed off. “The serpent thing didn’t say god would be so mad.”

“Looked like a snake to me. I had seen snakes before though, some of them had rattles, which is weird since I noticed that there were many, many different types of animals in the same area.  But, in the Garden, none of them ate each other. Take the tigers for instance, makes you wonder why they had teeth perfect for ripping meat even in a place where they didn’t eat anything but fruit.” That fruit…mmm…I was already loving being intelligent. But Eve said… “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Nothing. What made you listen to a talking snake?”

Her eyes turned red-er. “It was YOUR job to name all the animals. How was I to know that THIS animal was any different?”

“Well, none of the other animals talked, woman! How’s that for a clue?”

She stopped and stared directly into my eyes. “Listen, MAN! None of the other animals were 18 feet tall like that giraffe thing, none of the other animals swung from the trees like those monkeys, and I did NOT see any flying rodents other than the bats! So, was I to know that a talking snake was any different? I’m only a few weeks old!”

“Well, I…”

“And another thing. I don’t get what your job was. Naming animals? Did you name ALL of them?”

“Only the ones I saw. I couldn’t…”

“What about the lake or the oceans?” She was making TOO much sense.

“Well, there wasn’t one in the Garden. Only small ponds.”

“Huh, so there are entire parts this earth outside of the Garden, with animals that have no names.” She shook her head. “Forget that,” She planted her hands on her hips, “I thought god had made the thing and that YOU had named it. That was YOUR job, remember? But you didn’t name this one, did you?” She walked off before I could answer.

Well, she had me there. I didn’t name it, because I didn’t know about it. Like I said, I had to wait for the animals to come into my line of sight and we hadn’t been there long before we were kicked out. We wondered for a few days until we decided that one place was as good as any to set up a place to live. And that itself took forever. I not only had to figure out what to build to shelter us, but how and with what! Years later, here we were…a family, popping out kids one after another…like a slew of them. Now here comes a hard topic…what are our kids to do?

God made me a woman…we made kids. Aaaannnddd those kids were the only other humans on the Earth. Sooo…our kids…had to make it with…you know…each other. You know…incest and what not. Ahem…yeah. It wasn’t my idea. He only made two of us, so…what else did he expect us to do?

Eve made things hell for me. My punishment she said, for getting her into this mess. Which, actually was more her fault that mine, but then again, I didn’t know there were flying, talking manipulative serpents in the Garden either. Sigh…there she goes…Sheesh!