Mount Dread, Headquarters of the Evil Illuminati ruling party known only as T.H.E.Y. The heads of the organization come forth annually to further discuss their plans of retaining the world’s power in their hands. The room is dim the tables and high backed rocker chairs are black…as is their hearts.

Overlord Hock clears his throat. His eyes narrow as he scanned the masked faces before him. Arranged in a circle so that all could observe each other, there being no honor amongst the thieves of this level, neither trusted the other, but so ingrained and powerful were they, that no one dared change that. No one wanted to disturb the delicate organization they had created. To be true, they all wanted more…but to have more is to take from the other…a risk too high for either to take.

Adeb, the name this member had chosen, spoke first through his computer, which changed his voice into a monotoned, robot sounding speech. “My people are continuing to spread Christianity as well as Islam into my homeland. The people are scared…we keep them scared…the more frightened they are the more they can be controlled. Even those that would help them, must go through me, first.”

Crystal spoke next, “Good, meanwhile, our plans are in place to assassinate the rapper Ghostface Killa. He is getting to close to us.”

The Overlord nodded his hooded and masked head. “I assume you will take the same measures that you did with Tupac and this…Biggie?’

“Yes, Overlord.”

RoyalPurple, a name that Overlord Hock laughed at, spoke up. “We are continuing to stoke the fires of political chaos in the US. The people are falling all over themselves. Each candidate that runs is one of us.”

“ONE OF US!” They all say in unison.

“Demented Doctor of Doom…how goes your plans for storing human and animal DNA?”

The one Hock referred to leaned forward. Even through the computer altered his voice, his tone was dripping with evil glee. “Beautifully, my lord. All the plant seeds have nearly been collected. Even the inedible ones…we have plenty of pines.” The computer laughed. “Animals and human dna gathering has been completed. We took some from each race…only the strongest…and stored them in an underground bunker…made of plastic.” He rubbed his hands together.

“Good…it seems your demented evil is at a new high. That is good, Doctor. You may have a cookie.” Hock motioned the servant standing by, also masked, to hand the Doctor a cookie and a napkin.

Crystal, envious of the Doctor, snorted in irritation. “Lord, I have managed to have a US president shot, another shot at, one embroiled in a sexual scandal, and another accused of being Hitler. It is I who should have a cookie.”

Before the Overlord could speak, Adeb interjected. “No, you didn’t. One of my men personally worked on the president’s campaign. My man is black, by the way and has a Facebook account with a sizeable following. His followers listen to everything he says. They will hate the president more and feel vindicated in their irrational thought because they agree with each other.”

“That was you? You were behind the President’s Midget Sex Doll Orgy scandal?”

“Yes, that was me.” An air of smugness did not go unnoticed by Crystal.

“Unfortunately,” Hock spoke, “the President himself was not there. He was busy taking out one of our…less than favorable followers, Dusty, the Icelandic Terrorist.”

Adeb stammered, then fell silent. The Doctor seized this moment. “I have people getting flu shots…slowing poisoning them.”

Crystal, “What about those that don’t get flu shots? Besides, it is I who created the chemtrail conspiracy. We’ll kill them all!”

“Crystal, my dear, even those who don’t get flu shots…must take some kind of medicine. I have all the medicine controlled. All of it…I own every single one of the largest pharmaceutical makers in the world. All of them!” The Doctor laughed again.

RoyalPurple, who had watched the people before him with contempt, finally cut off Adeb before he could speak again. “Listen, the US is rife with chances to keep people serving us. I..me…Ric…I mean…RoyalPurple…have made it so that all political parties are actually controlled by ME! I appoint who I want and destroy who I want. My people control that country. Even it’s media. We set up Dave Chappelle! We set up the President! We rule everyone!”

Overload Hock stood up. “I do not tolerate overreaching in here. And stop bragging…some people have taken the stance of NOT voting to counteract your plans.”

“I have a plan for that, too. Besides…even if they don’t vote, their tax dollars pay for whom ever I install into the president’s position. Hell, they are still paying for the last president and the one before that.”

“Well, don’t forget…I know about you RoyalPurple…I am of the highest level of Freemasons…I know what you’ve done…and what you haven’t.”

“What does that mean?”

“You can’t control both parties, because I do. I own Goldman Sachs and P&G!” He leveled his gaze at them, “I fucking own Disney World and Little Debbie.” The moment of triumphant evilness was ruined when Hock’s other servant farted.

Everyone looked from one to the other. Adeb took this time to speak up, but was cut off again by the Crystal. “That’s amazing…we own the entire world. Wait a minute…Doctor, if you are poisoning everything, how are you preventing US from being poisoned?”

The Doctor shrugged.

Adeb stood up, raised his hand, but Royal Purple beat him to the punch. “I’m preventing the truth about 9/11 from being known, by spreading different theories about what the truth is to the point where those that think the truth is the truth are really being fed lies and/or a different version of what WE call the truth which isn’t actually the truth, but more of a made up lie using the truth as a backdrop to make truth less a lie and more truth. In fact…that was the reason for the number 911…emergency…get it? You get that right? I thought of it myself.”

Crystal sighed.

“Hold a moment Crystal.” Hock held up his hand, then pointed to on of the other servants…”Kill him.” Pointing to the one that farted. He was drug off and a single gunshot was heard. “Go ahead.”

“You know…that last president was good. Dimwitted enough to blindly follow everything we told him. Too bad we could not extend his terms forever. But…T.H.E.Y must keep the little people guessing. The people must know that T.H.E.Y. are to be feared…even though they can’t know about T.H.E.Y. I want a cookie, too, btw.”

“Give them all cookies, then beat the other servant. I’m a bit bothered by the fact that none of you pointed out my handling of this country.” Hock allowed himself to pout. “I mean, I have 99% of people made at 1% . They are occupying cities all over this country.”

“To what end?”

“What do you mean?”

“For what purpose?”



“Look, you motherfuckers are going to listen to me,” Adeb said. “In my homeland, they…”

“We don’t care about your homeland…and you are not supposed to tell us where you are from.” Hock shouted.

“Where’s the other servant? I want another cookie.” The Doctor said.

“He left to go make another YouTube video about everything we just said.”


“So, you are why those videos keep coming out. Are you going to kill him?’ Crystal said.


“Why not?”

“Because…I’m just not.” The Overlord said in a surly tone.

“You just allow that information to just walk out of a secret organization’s secret meetings?” Crystal asked.

“Yes. I don’t understand what the problem is.”

“You just let secret information walk out of here.” Adeb shouted.

“Sit down Adeb…I know what i’m doing. Trust me…I even know his name and where he lives.”

“Why have you not silenced him?”

“Because…I am head of a worldwide super power of global levels of influence…I can’t do everything. ”

So, it was. The council argued on that point for hours. Eventually concluding that the secret information thus seen in many a YouTube video was vidal to spreading fear and mistrust in the empire. Keeping the lil people afraid and mistrustful worked in their favor, so they had little to fear. The mistrustful will believe that their distrust protects them, but T.H.E.Y. control everything…and there is no way around that.


One thought on “T.H.E.Y.

  1. Tiffany says:

    wow! such a well developed evil story. lol!

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