DEATHMATCH: MAN VS. WO-MAN

“Wow! That last bout was a stunner!”

“Jim, that was the best match i’ve seen all my years as a ringside commentator. And I’ll expect there will be a rematch between White Man and Black Man.”

“Yes, Tony. Unless, Asian Man or Latino Man wants to get in on the action.”

“Well, now we turn our attention to our final bout of the evening. The title match and a battle of epic proportions.”

“Yes, the battle of the sexes has been raging forever, finally the 2 sides, each with their chosen fighter to represent their total characteristics, will come to the ring and battle it out in a match to the death. Man and Wo-Man are going to head to head, in a battle to the end.”

“That’s right, Tony. The Boss of Bosses, Shao Kawn, will decide the fates of Man or Wo-Man should the fighter be rendered helpless or in the event of a draw. And with announcer, Whit Winglestein stepping into the ring, this match is about to start. Take it away, Whit.”

“Llllaaaddddieesss and Geentlemen! Live from a secret location, we bring you our final battle of the night. A match to the very death that will decide who is more awesome, who holds the most power, who has the most sex, who masterbates the most often, why they cheat, how they get caught and why…and why the hell the toilet seat and towels you aren’t supposed to use are such a big deal. EVERYBODY! LET’S GET SOME ASS KICKING GOING!! (ha…see what I did there?) Making his way to the ring, no doubt because his competitor insisted, standing 6’1”, 210lbs wearing a surly expression and black shorts, Heeerrreees MAN!”

“Wow, the men cheering loud and proud for their champion Tony.”

“Yes, they are Jim, let’s see how the ladies respond.”

“And now…entering to the song, “I’m a Bitch”…standing an average 5’6″ and she wouldn’t tell us her weight…I give you WOOOOOO-MAAANNNN!!!”

“Listen to that Jim! The women are going wild!”

“I can hear it! Haha..this is gonna be good. Look at the looks they are giving each other. Man belched loud right at Wo-Man. Bi-sexual referee, Sheldon Percy, is bringing the fighters to the center of the right.”

“Alright, there are no rules except no bitching from either of you. Fight!”

“Alright, Jim…the fighters touch hands and go! Oh, Wo-Man is the first to strike with a generic, blanketed attack on male masculinity. Man returns with a traditional role of women argument!”

“Now they exchange blows, Man, being stronger, delivers powerful insults to Wo-Man’s weaker body, but Wo-Man is returning with uppercuts to the stomach and lazy ass, broke Babydaddy Retorts.”

“Oh, I can see the insults to Man’s ego are taking an effect on him, he’s getting angry and launching Slut Elbows with slut slurs at Wo-man’s head. She’s taking a beating. She need’s to get out of that corner, Jim! Oh, now it’s on, Wo-Man ducks that elbow,  and delivers Woman’s Suffrage Kick to the jaw and a quick combo Women are Better Liars jabs and Cheating Accusation Power Punches.”

“Yeah, but Man, as usual is ducking and dodging the issue. BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH…Wo-Man get’s him with her signature Bringing Up Old Shit Roundhouse. Man is a bit wobbly. Wo-Man is getting on the top turnbuckle…she jumps and lands an Unsubmissive Knee to the forehead. Man goes down.”

“Wo-man makes the cover…1…2…no. Man jerks up and quickly brings  knee of his own to Wo-Man’s ribs.  A flurry of slaps backs Wo-Man up to the rope, Man pulls back for a Men-Need-Sex-More Back hand, but Wo-Man ducks again. She’s hurling punches to the face. Man counters with headbutt…runs to the rope…ahh…a nasty Fuck the Toilet Seat Clothesline. Wo-Man is down, but not out. Ohhh! Another jab and Women Are More Emotional Bodyslam on Man!”

“It’s not over, Jim. Man rolls to avoid a Guilt Ridden Stomp and catches Wo-Man’s foot and takes her down. He’s going for a Dick Submission Lock…but LOOK AT THAT! Wo-Man activates her PMS Bitch Defense…frying Man’s skin and libido! He let’s go.”

“Now that the gloves are off, Man throws his Blast of Male Testosterone, catching W0-Man right between the breasts. And that may be it for Wo-Man. Man swaggers over and lays a lazy cover over her. 1…2…3…NO! Wo-Man got an arm up! Summoning all the opinions of men to her she shoots a Ego Shriveling Ray. Man is dazed. Wo-Man lands another blast! And another! Ohh! Ohh! Pussy Whipper! Man is down! IS IT OVER? IS THIS IT?”

“FINISH THAT MOTHERFUCKER!!!!”

“You heard him, Tony! The Blue Ball Smasher! MAN IS DONE! IT’S OVER! WO-MAN WINS!”

“Ohhh, Jim. Listen to the ladies go wild cheering their heroine who stands worn out, but smiling. She represented all of them  and didn’t fail.”

“No she didn’t. Each fighter had the weight of sexual stereotypes on their side and fought bravely to maintain them or destroy them, depending on whose side you’re on. Look at the roses raining down.”

“Well, she deserves it. And my wife is going to be extra happy to night!”

“I hear ya.”

“Whit is going to let the champion speak.”

“I came to the ring to represent ALL of you! ALL OF YOU! I speak for ALL of you! Everything I say about men is what we ALL say about them! So, we are all one! Here, Whit, thank you…here’s a kiss.”

“W-w-well, I’m sure Man would’ve said the exact same thing…without the kiss…though. He might have included an alpha-male, over doing it, I’m-not-gay and i’ll prove it by being more homophobic than the next guy speech. I’d have shanked him for that. Hehheh…I’m joking…but seriously…back to you Jim and Tony.”

“Well, Tony…that was amazing.”

“I’ll say, Jim.”

“And with Man’s mangled, ball-less corpse being trampled on as the ring feels up, we conclude this broadcast and bring you to the program you would have been watching if we hadn’t pirated the signal. For Tony Bolonga, I’m Jim Hoss, thanks for watching and good night.”

T.H.E.Y.

Mount Dread, Headquarters of the Evil Illuminati ruling party known only as T.H.E.Y. The heads of the organization come forth annually to further discuss their plans of retaining the world’s power in their hands. The room is dim the tables and high backed rocker chairs are black…as is their hearts.

Overlord Hock clears his throat. His eyes narrow as he scanned the masked faces before him. Arranged in a circle so that all could observe each other, there being no honor amongst the thieves of this level, neither trusted the other, but so ingrained and powerful were they, that no one dared change that. No one wanted to disturb the delicate organization they had created. To be true, they all wanted more…but to have more is to take from the other…a risk too high for either to take.

Adeb, the name this member had chosen, spoke first through his computer, which changed his voice into a monotoned, robot sounding speech. “My people are continuing to spread Christianity as well as Islam into my homeland. The people are scared…we keep them scared…the more frightened they are the more they can be controlled. Even those that would help them, must go through me, first.”

Crystal spoke next, “Good, meanwhile, our plans are in place to assassinate the rapper Ghostface Killa. He is getting to close to us.”

The Overlord nodded his hooded and masked head. “I assume you will take the same measures that you did with Tupac and this…Biggie?’

“Yes, Overlord.”

RoyalPurple, a name that Overlord Hock laughed at, spoke up. “We are continuing to stoke the fires of political chaos in the US. The people are falling all over themselves. Each candidate that runs is one of us.”

“ONE OF US!” They all say in unison.

“Demented Doctor of Doom…how goes your plans for storing human and animal DNA?”

The one Hock referred to leaned forward. Even through the computer altered his voice, his tone was dripping with evil glee. “Beautifully, my lord. All the plant seeds have nearly been collected. Even the inedible ones…we have plenty of pines.” The computer laughed. “Animals and human dna gathering has been completed. We took some from each race…only the strongest…and stored them in an underground bunker…made of plastic.” He rubbed his hands together.

“Good…it seems your demented evil is at a new high. That is good, Doctor. You may have a cookie.” Hock motioned the servant standing by, also masked, to hand the Doctor a cookie and a napkin.

Crystal, envious of the Doctor, snorted in irritation. “Lord, I have managed to have a US president shot, another shot at, one embroiled in a sexual scandal, and another accused of being Hitler. It is I who should have a cookie.”

Before the Overlord could speak, Adeb interjected. “No, you didn’t. One of my men personally worked on the president’s campaign. My man is black, by the way and has a Facebook account with a sizeable following. His followers listen to everything he says. They will hate the president more and feel vindicated in their irrational thought because they agree with each other.”

“That was you? You were behind the President’s Midget Sex Doll Orgy scandal?”

“Yes, that was me.” An air of smugness did not go unnoticed by Crystal.

“Unfortunately,” Hock spoke, “the President himself was not there. He was busy taking out one of our…less than favorable followers, Dusty, the Icelandic Terrorist.”

Adeb stammered, then fell silent. The Doctor seized this moment. “I have people getting flu shots…slowing poisoning them.”

Crystal, “What about those that don’t get flu shots? Besides, it is I who created the chemtrail conspiracy. We’ll kill them all!”

“Crystal, my dear, even those who don’t get flu shots…must take some kind of medicine. I have all the medicine controlled. All of it…I own every single one of the largest pharmaceutical makers in the world. All of them!” The Doctor laughed again.

RoyalPurple, who had watched the people before him with contempt, finally cut off Adeb before he could speak again. “Listen, the US is rife with chances to keep people serving us. I..me…Ric…I mean…RoyalPurple…have made it so that all political parties are actually controlled by ME! I appoint who I want and destroy who I want. My people control that country. Even it’s media. We set up Dave Chappelle! We set up the President! We rule everyone!”

Overload Hock stood up. “I do not tolerate overreaching in here. And stop bragging…some people have taken the stance of NOT voting to counteract your plans.”

“I have a plan for that, too. Besides…even if they don’t vote, their tax dollars pay for whom ever I install into the president’s position. Hell, they are still paying for the last president and the one before that.”

“Well, don’t forget…I know about you RoyalPurple…I am of the highest level of Freemasons…I know what you’ve done…and what you haven’t.”

“What does that mean?”

“You can’t control both parties, because I do. I own Goldman Sachs and P&G!” He leveled his gaze at them, “I fucking own Disney World and Little Debbie.” The moment of triumphant evilness was ruined when Hock’s other servant farted.

Everyone looked from one to the other. Adeb took this time to speak up, but was cut off again by the Crystal. “That’s amazing…we own the entire world. Wait a minute…Doctor, if you are poisoning everything, how are you preventing US from being poisoned?”

The Doctor shrugged.

Adeb stood up, raised his hand, but Royal Purple beat him to the punch. “I’m preventing the truth about 9/11 from being known, by spreading different theories about what the truth is to the point where those that think the truth is the truth are really being fed lies and/or a different version of what WE call the truth which isn’t actually the truth, but more of a made up lie using the truth as a backdrop to make truth less a lie and more truth. In fact…that was the reason for the number 911…emergency…get it? You get that right? I thought of it myself.”

Crystal sighed.

“Hold a moment Crystal.” Hock held up his hand, then pointed to on of the other servants…”Kill him.” Pointing to the one that farted. He was drug off and a single gunshot was heard. “Go ahead.”

“You know…that last president was good. Dimwitted enough to blindly follow everything we told him. Too bad we could not extend his terms forever. But…T.H.E.Y must keep the little people guessing. The people must know that T.H.E.Y. are to be feared…even though they can’t know about T.H.E.Y. I want a cookie, too, btw.”

“Give them all cookies, then beat the other servant. I’m a bit bothered by the fact that none of you pointed out my handling of this country.” Hock allowed himself to pout. “I mean, I have 99% of people made at 1% . They are occupying cities all over this country.”

“To what end?”

“What do you mean?”

“For what purpose?”

“Evil.”

“Oh.”

“Look, you motherfuckers are going to listen to me,” Adeb said. “In my homeland, they…”

“We don’t care about your homeland…and you are not supposed to tell us where you are from.” Hock shouted.

“Where’s the other servant? I want another cookie.” The Doctor said.

“He left to go make another YouTube video about everything we just said.”

“Huh?”

“So, you are why those videos keep coming out. Are you going to kill him?’ Crystal said.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because…I’m just not.” The Overlord said in a surly tone.

“You just allow that information to just walk out of a secret organization’s secret meetings?” Crystal asked.

“Yes. I don’t understand what the problem is.”

“You just let secret information walk out of here.” Adeb shouted.

“Sit down Adeb…I know what i’m doing. Trust me…I even know his name and where he lives.”

“Why have you not silenced him?”

“Because…I am head of a worldwide super power of global levels of influence…I can’t do everything. ”

So, it was. The council argued on that point for hours. Eventually concluding that the secret information thus seen in many a YouTube video was vidal to spreading fear and mistrust in the empire. Keeping the lil people afraid and mistrustful worked in their favor, so they had little to fear. The mistrustful will believe that their distrust protects them, but T.H.E.Y. control everything…and there is no way around that.

Lu’s Version of the Story

Ok, so I was minding my own business up in Heaven. There was not shit else to do and I had grown bored with…not doing shit.  Apparently, though he did not show it, God was bored, as well. I always thought that he did not look nearly as confident as he let on, but what do I know. He created me and every other angel…for the hell of it seems…but I guess that you can do those things as a god.

One day, he comes to me and says, “I have an idea…I’m going to create…something. A planet…a world and fill it with people and other stuff.”

I nodded. “I see…but why?”

“To worship me.” There was a gleam in his eye that I did not like.

“Ok…umm…sounds like fun.”

I simply agreed with him…I figured that he needed something to get himself out of whatever funk he was in. He had been pretty down lately and with nothing but immortals that will only agree or say yes surrounding him; I think he needed something to take his mind off the mundane chore of being a god with nothing to do. And…besides…he had all the power, so he could do shit like that. “How can I help, Boss?”

“I’ll let you know. I may need some help with some things.”

So, since there was nothing else to do, I went and talked with Gabriel. We had our usual talks about time…like…what is it. I mean, when you are ageless and there is no night or day, you do not have an idea of time, so we just mused about it. You know, shooting the breeze. I tell him about God’s plan. Gabriel liked the idea. God comes and gets me. He had a happy look on his face.

“I have it…I figured it out. I’m going to create people…call ’em humans…a few of them at first in a…a…garden…on this world. With animals and plants…all kinds of things. I had Phillip help me design them.”

Phillip was a minor angel no one ever talked to…he was…odd…to say the least.

So, now that God was in a much better mood, he and I went to the task of world building. He did not tell me how easy it would be for HIM. However, I let him do all the work…ya know…I’m not all-powerful and shit. I mean, he simply said, “Let there be light” and *BAM* there it was. Then he split the light and dark and called it morning and night or whatever. He then went on to create water, land, and the plants. Smooth…very smooth. Now, that he had invented days and night, we had time…so after what HE said was the 4th day, he did something odd. He said, and I know he said this because he later had someone write it in a book, although why he did not write it down THEN…HIMSELF beats me. But he said: “Let there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years, and let them be lights in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth.”

He then made the Sun for light and warmth during the day and what he called the Moon, which got its light from the Sun, to light the night.

“Umm…where did you get the light from on the first day?” A simple question…but it totally pissed him off. So, rather than bother with it, I left. I mean, it was a valid question…how did he have light on the first day if he JUST now created the mechanism to give the world light? Smh. I went and minded my own business for the next few days. On what he called the 7th day, he was tired and rested.

I didn’t come back until he had set everything up, land, plants, and water. He and Phillip had designed the animals…and Phillip, that guy has some strange ideas. Some of the animals were just…I mean…what is a platypus…a duck and rat combined or whatever…elephant seals, and other odd stuff. And one human…a guy God called Adam. He had this Adam naming the animals. Why? Beats me, I guess he didn’t have time to do it himself. From what I could tell, that was Adam’s whole purpose…sit there in the garden naming animals. This was GOD’s idea, you understand. For you see…he had placed different animals and plants all over the world and since water was a totally new thing to Adam, I cannot see how he would have named anything he had not seen. In addition, since he never left the garden, it made no sense how he would name all the animals. I brought this up with God.

“Ok, I understand that he needs something to do, but how is he going to name the creatures you placed deep in the oceans?”

“Oh…I’ll just tell him.” He said smugly.

“Well, you could’ve told him the other millions of names, too. Couldn’t you?”

“Yeah, I could have.”

“Is anyone going to write this down and I thought you were making a world of people. So far I only see one.”

God smiled at me and said nothing. I figured that was my queue to leave…until I heard him say. “I’m god, bitch!”

Whoa! I went about my day. I did visit this Earth he made and thought he’d done a good job. Although, since my mood was tainted with being thoroughly pissed at him, I suppose I didn’t appreciate it as much as I should have. At night, you could see thousands of lights in the sky. Stars, he said…put there just to fuck with his own creations, I imagine. I shook my head at the humor.

Returning to Heaven, I found him busy brainstorming again. He called me over as if nothing had happened earlier. It had occurred to him that Adam needed someone to help him, so he does this…get this now…makes him lay down. He puts him to sleep. I ask, “You gonna make the 2nd person the way you made the first? You know that sand thing you did.

“Nope…Gonna pull out a rib.”

“Wait…what?”

And that’s exactly what he did. He pulled a rib out of the guy and made another human out of it…a woman, he called it. He named her Eve. Now…this is where things get tricky. God, being unhinged as it is, then makes a tree…he had plenty of trees in this one Garden (why he only made one, I don’t know), but he made a tree, which he infused the fruit on it with “knowledge”…saying that this was information that they really should not have…and placed it right in the damn Garden! “This is very dangerous, Lu. I forbade them to touch it. If they eat from this tree…I shudder to think what will happen.”

“So, why’d you make it?”

“Because, I can. And I wouldn’t be a real ruler if I didn’t give them a chance to disobey me. I told them not to, but this way they have a choice in the whole thing.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Don’t worry Lu, I have a plan. I ALWAYS have a plan.”

“Huh? But…”

“No time, Lu. Let me get back to my work.”

I had held my tongue for a minute, but felt the need to speak up here. “That doesn’t make sense. Why did you just NOT make the tree? Or put the tree away from the Garden?”

“You missed what I just said.”

“I heard you, but it seems…stupid.”

God looked at me with a stern eye. “I am your Lord and Master, best watch how you talk to me.” That gleam was back in his eyes.

What? “I’m just trying to help here and why didn’t you make more than 2 humans, but you made plenty of animals?”

“This is why I am a God and you are not…because I fucking can! Alright! Is that good enough for you?!” I walked off after that and it was during this time that apparently a serpent sneaked in and told Eve about the fruit on the forbidden to eat from, inappropriately placed tree, who told Adam. They ate from it…and God totally went ape shit over it. I mean, he was livid, and exiled them from the Garden just like he said, the only Garden. Automatically, I’m the prime suspect.

“You did it, didn’t you? I know…because I know everything!”

“I didn’t do it. I was here, remember? And this was YOUR plan!”

“No, I know it was you. You ruined everything. I had to sentence a serpent to wander on its stomach because of you.”

“How was it getting around before that?”

“That’s not the point. The serpent told Eve what I told YOU. That’s how I know it was you!”

“Wait, you made an animal that talks? In what language? Do the other animals talk?”

“Stop getting off the subject!” He was pissed and I got more pissed because I was innocent.

“First off, I thought that was in your whole damn plan! You are the one who put the fucking tree in the Garden in the first place!”

“I told you why I did it! Free choice, asshole!”

“It’s not a choice if they get punished for making the choice that you didn’t want them to make! What are you going to do now?!”

He huffed. “Them and every human born will suffer for disobeying me. I mean…boy…are they gonna suffer.”

“That’s pretty harsh, especially for the ones born later who didn’t do anything. And since you made only 2, their offspring will have to reproduce with each other! What kind of shit is that?”

“What’s wrong with that? Huh? You know what? I don’t have to explain shit to you…I’m God, remember?! I am the Highest, the Most High! The Most-est, motherfucker!”

“For someone with so much power, you sure love patting yourself on the back. I hope those creatures you made don’t have the any of your problems. You need help.”

“Help? I’m God!”

“I heard you the last 5,000 times you said it. Who are you trying to convince, me or yourself?”

“That’s it…GET OUT!”

He meant it. God never had the balls to admit when HE was the one wrong, but he sure could point out what YOU did. I just had to be the one that pushed him to edge for calling him on it. And that’s how it was. I left, a few angels agreed with me and left, too. This REALLY pissed him off. *Sigh* what can you do. You know…what really hurts is that he had his humans write this shit down thousands of years later and had it ALL looking like it was MY fault. Coldblooded…that’s what you get for questioning God.

Emasculating the Black Man…The Evil Plot

The skies were dark over Hollywood…lightning flashes (evil organ music plays) above “Totally Not Racist Productions.” Lotor Goldberg sat at his desk…his fingers in a tent before his face. An evil smile upon his mouth as his #1 henchman, Ira walked in. Hunchbacked and slim, Ira shuffled forward with a package in one hand…his right hand. The other was malformed.

“A box arrived, sir” he spurted out.

“Good. I have awaited this for a while.” Lotor controlled his eagerness to rush at the box. He waited for Ira to set it upon the desk. Then calmly undid the tape. Sitting in the box…(cue startling music) Maria’s Family and Class reunion at Big Momma’s House. “Yes!” His fists clenched in triumph, “Now my evil designs will finally come to fruitition. With this final Maria installment, I shall, once and for all effeminate the Black Man! Muwahahaha!”

Ira was less than enthused. He stood by with a bored expression on his pimpled face. A sigh slipped past his lips. Lotor heard this and looked up at him. “What’s your problem? Don’t you see the glorious achievement of my plans coming?”

Ira sighed, “Did you get my email?”

“Ahh…noo…” Lotor’s eyes rotated to the top of their sockets. “Anyway, what has it to do with this…my crowning moment of villainy?”

“The email mentioned everything that concerns me, Master.” Ira said frankly. “I do not think that you thought this all the way out.”

“What?! Me?!” Lotor rose from his desk. The lightning flashed (organ music raises) through the giant window at his back. “I am white! I am rich! And I have crafted an engenious plan that will make the black male more feminine through simply watching these movies. For years I have been releasing these low grade, poorly written, stereotyped piles of in-cohesive material to the black movie going audience. Tyler Perry has a locked in demographic and who can resist Martin Lawrence in a fat suit.”

“But they don’t have to watch the movies. They can avoid them if they choose. Your plan only works on the few who actually watch those crappy movies.”

Lotor paused in his gloating to leer at Ira, “Ira, you don’t get it do you? Once one black male and/or female starts a trend, they all follow it. Get them in a room together and it will be easy as pie. Their girlfriends like men in dresses. Tyler Perry is making millions…they eat this shit up!”

Ira looked at his Master earnestly. “Yes, but a lot of them do not like these movies and avoid them. One movie had the supposedly old woman firing off a sub machine gun in her own home with no consequences what so ever…that same woman is supposed to be the moral focal point of the movie. Most people, not just blacks prefer shit to make sense.” Ira thought a moment…”What exactly do you plan to do once you have accomplished this plan…assuming it even works?”

The master sat back down. The evil smile played across his lips…a look of smug intelligence went across his face. “I don’t have a fucking plan.”

Ira gasped.

“Do you really think that I need to have a plan? Just release a rumor that Hollywood has an evil plan to make black men more pussified and they’ll believe it. Why? Because they always want to believe that there is a massive conspiracy aimed solely at them.”

“And then what?”

“I just said that I don’t have a fucking plan, Ira. That’s it.” Lotor laughed evilly.

“Wait.” Ira placed his good hand on his hip. “You went through years of conspiring with Tyler Perry to give him the financing for his plays, before propping him and other black male actors and directors in B or C grade movies requiring them to wear a dress, which were not funny in the least. Which were seen by either large church going crowds or people who didn’t have shit else to do. The rest waited and watched the shit on bootleg. Meanwhile, you have instituted this convoluted plan of sabotage predicated on the idea of people watching a movie voluntarily that they can easily avoid to make the black man more feminine for a purpose that you don’t even know.”

“Muwahahaha! It’s brilliant, isn’t it?” eyes flashing, Lotor smiled again. “For a moment there, I thought you didn’t get it.”

“I still don’t fucking get it!” Ira said exasperated. “Those movies sucked and most black men have a serious issue with feminine men anyway. Why would they watch any of these movies?”

“Ira, you disappoint me, I can see that your time as my #1 henchman is coming to an end.” Lotor sounded almost sad about it. “It just occurred to me that you don’t see my genius. I’m white…they already distrust me. So, I couldn’t make those movies, but I can be involved with a black man gullible enough to direct, star, or write a movie like it. Then…oh…then…they’ll watch it. Infecting them with femininity! They’ll be total wusses!”

“Ok…then can’t that plan be counteracted by watching a movie with…i don’t know…Denzel Washington or any other black male NOT wearing a dress?”

Lotor stopped and looked at Ira. Ira looked back at Lotor. Who looked back at Ira. “I didn’t think about that. Why didn’t I of all people…Lotor…a card carrying member of T.H.E.Y. think about that? I’m on the damn board for crying out loud!” A look of panic went across Lotor’s pasty white face…his red lips quivered. “If watching 2 or 3 of all black male actors play a female every now and then can make them feminine…then they can watch a movie with a supremely masculine specimen and become more…masculininy. That would ruin everything.”

Ira just had to ask…”You never tested this did you? I mean, how did you even get the idea that it was working in the first place?”

A tear streamed down Lotor’s face. “I read the angry comments on Facebook.” *sniff* “I’m ruined.”

Ira watched his master…the evil white man he had served for years, crumple into a pile of misery. He shuffled out of the office, paused at the door with satisfied smile on his face. He walked down the hall, to the elevator, on his way down his gait changed, his posture straightened, and before he was out of the door, the fake pimples had been removed. Walking to the car that awaited him he felt a bit of remorse, until he opened the door and saw the dark brown skinned lady in the black dress sitting behind the wheel.